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Nevermind ( A lesson in the lariat) [27 Mar 2013|12:57pm]
Forget the words, think of it as giving in. Accepting the worst of the best

I became what have become, I didn’t lose.

But Ill stray in my side and stay far beyond the in-between. I’ve tried and died many times and conditioned those around to a get-used-to-it.

And been used by you, just to say you’re here by my side but by then I follow you into the word of the vanishing. Then, I’m through.

Just a thought, you’re all dancing in the clouds whilst I fade into the stars, on my own, follow me with yourself but learn the lesson of my time.

Because I won’t waste mine on yours.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

5 shots left to my revolver

Over The Years And Through The Woods [19 Mar 2013|06:51am]
Like the struggle of the poor, mute, and the insane, the inward journeys are never kind.

The mind speaks in tongue to the weary memories, they hear of what the fire brings, baptized in gasoline.

Running through the prison of memories and photos of illusions past, all afraid to see. My mouth is dry and cracked from cold flare of want. Please Lord, I have much to say, much to do.

Over the years and through the woods.

There’s no one here, people everywhere, we’re all alone, on our own.

Ill start at the finish, watch me soar.

I, Just, May Never, Come Down.

So High.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

1 shots left to my revolver

Of The Many [04 Mar 2013|01:31pm]
Back when sleep had no value. Back when being in the "middle of it all" was the center of the universe. Back when being with "everyone" was the only necessity everyone needed.

Back when beginings didn't have endings. Just harsh 'till thens.

Can we get our fix again?

I need the comfort of a certainty. Like it was before.

Time and forth, reading back again, lost memories in a faraway pill. It wasn't dates of awe but life in the grains.

I need my 6 bullets to set us all free. Come back to me.

For the love.

Come back to me.
5 shots left to my revolver

To MY toy soliders ... [01 Mar 2013|01:48pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Back together again, ay boys? I'm feeling like skies themselves.

2 shots left to my revolver

Astronomy [16 Feb 2010|08:22pm]


I need this from you. I need you to understand what I am about to do. You will not like it at first, but I need to make it happen in order for me not to break the many promises I made for you and for us. All of us. We are from the same story and I plan on making this the “never ending” kind. Bear with me. When I come back, you’ll understand then, and why you will be happy again.

I won’t be long. But it won’t today. It will be hard. “but listen damn it, we will win!”

After this, no more looking for green, being turned the other way, saving for the weekends that never warm, no, after this, we will be complete.

I need time, my time. Trust me.

I’m not broken yet.

to my revolver

Long time no see. [06 Feb 2010|03:55pm]
Hmm. Haven't been around here in a long time. I really hope people come back. LJ was one of the most amazing times for me and I know you've had good ones here too.

I couldn't help but sped an entire day reading everything I have ever written, and what my friends have written. We have all shared our lives and experiences here. Sure we might not ever hang out, talk on the phone, see each other at the store, or even text each other. But here we always shared a bit of life.

Regardless of the circumstances, you wrote, and we read.

I know maybe now, years later, this might seem trivial to come back into something that teenagers did, or that writing thoughts were pointless and a thing of the past... But I, for one never cared to write poetry or stories, or to impress you with lyrics and times of my life.

I did it to hear yours. To live beside you, even if I'm not there. And I always said, live journal will stand the test of time. Sure we have myspace now and even a face book. But there was something about live journal that we couldn't help it love.

Consider this thought of LJ. I read what you write on myspace, I read what you write on face book. Believe me, I do. But as cheesy as this might sound,
That is still not enough to grow up with you like I did on live journal...

So, I'm back. Hello. Ha ha ha ha!
to my revolver

Memories Remain... As Time Goes On... [27 Feb 2008|01:33am]
[ mood | cold ]

 Its like coming in side an abandoned house with rusted walls, empty chairs, broken windows, and wood, swelled by tears of joy followed by tears of sorrow...

I've spent the last couple of days wondering around livejournal. Friends. Old entries. Pictures. I have no words to describe what the pain is inside my stomach that keeps me from typing like I want.

Some one asked me today what would my heaven would be like... And for some very odd reason every single one of my entry post came too mind... Not because of the words I struggled to say or not of the pictures or drawings I put up... 

Simply put it was because of you. You, the one who is reading this. Because you didn't just skim through my entry or read the beginning and click somewhere else. But because right now you feel somewhat the same. Or you're trying your best too.

But for just this once. And only once...

This entry is not for you.

I need something to believe in for a while longer. I can't just let all this go.

I cannot forget.

I will not forget.

to my revolver

Two Whole Months Of Training And Lessons... [06 Oct 2007|12:36am]
[ mood | anxious ]

 ... And I Finally Have The Voice Of Blood And Rust...

17 shots left to my revolver

Saving Lives With Bullets. [17 Sep 2007|10:06pm]

Today, destruction. Tomorrow, chaos.

 Saving lives with bullets.

Fear the sunlight.

Conversations with empty voles.

A Phantom Moon.


This is the nector of whats behind tomorrow.

Ill Starve.

Is it any wonder I can't sleep?
All I have is all you gave to me
Is it any wonder I found peace through you?
Turn to the gates of heaven, to myself be damned
Turn away from light.


I've damned myself, best to turn change around.

This sundown, I failed.

Flavor has lost its touch.
Smell has lost its blossom.
Sounds have become grotesque with beauty.


Nothing Seems To Last Forever.



I don't know when the next bone will be thrown.
I don't know what will shine when the stars fall.

There is only one true thing that is known.

That is of a still beating heart of mine someone holds.

She holds it dear.


This Is For You...

to my revolver

Gaiden... [19 May 2007|12:46am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Yet again, I am going to take another second, out of such a busy life, filled with work, labor, let downs, fist shakes, cold sweats, and struggles, to expand whats very far from it all and make it into a lifetime right here... 

Tonight, I will lay my blankets and sleep warm and soft, alone and back in my own world. I will open my window from high, and breathe the cool night air, and dream of what I have missed, of what I have wanted to live, because for the last days, I have been living that life of spotlights and eyes. 

Now away from those cursed lights, I sleep tight tonight, alone in shadows and memoies...
But sadly not for long... 


Soon that work will pay off.
Soon I will rebuild the world I helped destroy.
Soon I will have the time.
Soon my family and friends will know me

Just a matter of time before I am free

4 shots left to my revolver

Before Everything... [18 Apr 2007|06:17pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

Before I continue with life, with finishing my projects, finishing my coffee, finishing my daily guitar session, before I finish my day...

I went back to my old entries from the last two years...

From hanging out with Micheal and Cynthia, to first my first entry, to Mayra's 15... I read them all in a span of 3 hours... I realized what a weird kid I was... 

But even so I would kill to go back to those days... The Pain, the happiness, the joy, the excitement... I'd do it all over again if I had the chance... So I realized, When I die... I don't want to go to heaven,or hell, or the next life, or what ever is waiting for me... I want to spend eternity reliving every moment of my life...

I think that will be my heaven... My nirvana...

So I'm writing this entry in reflection to the past, Behind my girlfriends back, before I start my homework, before I feed my birds, disobeying everything to make one more memory, to look back on and say that this was one day to live again... 

Someday... :D 

to my revolver

I Woke Up Today... [16 Apr 2007|06:08pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

The sky is falling
Human race that we run
It left me crawling
Staring straight at the sun
Only a moment I notice
Every dog has his day
I paid attention
Cost me so much to today

For so long
I saw only wrong
But now to remind
It's a waste of time

Close your eyes and see the skies are falling

I wanted something
Nothing blank I don't know
It's all deflecting
Stones are easy to throw
Only a moment I notice
Hours, days left behind
Of wasted, useless
Selfless, none of a kind

For so long
I saw only wrong
But now to remind
Not to go back to the low
That has drained my life so low
That has drained my life so low

Close your eyes and see the skies are falling

to my revolver

eeeeeeee! [14 Apr 2007|10:26am]
Finally I got back on the internet! heheh I missed coming here, after a long fuckin day! hheheheheh finally get to see what people been up to! heheh
to my revolver

Well, Again in the Same Path... [06 Apr 2007|04:59am]
[ mood | creative ]

So I'm sitting here in complete darkness... Hoping that my dad wont come in and tell me to go to sleep... I got somethings to finish... I stayed up and dedicated this night for just writing music... So far its going good... I got a lot down and it sounds good...

I just took a break, for a bit to reflect on a couple things... Get something written down and sort my mind a little bit...

Its 5:30 in the morning and I don't have any sign or hint of sleepiness, heh, My mind is too scattered, to just sleep it all off... 

I figured out that, my mind works really... Fucked up... Some times I feel the world couldn't be a better place, and other times I feel like shutting my self out to the rest of the world, and crawling into a ball and rotting away... What the hell is wrong with me..? 

My friends no longer know I exist, the band I thought, was going to be something big has run off with another band, (which is pretty much combineding all of the friends, that I know! so no room for me...) I have about 50 or 60 days left of school, then getting a job to get money, to get a car, to get around, to go DO the rest of college, and then after that I don't know how the FUCK I'm going to start making an album or doing shows with no one on my side... (well our side, including franky) but even so we don't have the rest of A BAND...

I don't know what to do anymore... When I figured that part of my crazy mind, I haven't felt like I wanted to turn into a ball and die, but with all this happening... It just seems like I have to feel that way...

I don't know why every things gone crazy... I've lost pretty much all of my family, for no fucking apparent reason... 

I'm gonna have to figure this one out on my own... It might seem cruel, but she just complicates things... I got no one on my side for this little obstacle... But some how I feel as though this might be partly her fault... Jealousy, and selfishness, has taken its toll...?

Is it because of her, they have kept their distance? Is it because of them shes jealous? If it is... That's pretty selfish..

I'm not going to blame... I just need to let some things go and show them anger...

My Break time is up and I am going back to doing what I love... 

Good Night And Sweet Dreams

4 shots left to my revolver

Sunsetting Moon... [28 Mar 2007|10:31pm]

Hit dirt
Shake tree
Split sky
Part sea

Strip smile
Lose cool
Bleed the day
And break the rule

Live, win
Dare, fail
Eat the dirt
And bite the nail

Then make me miss you
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt!!!
It don't feel good until it hurts!!!

So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day

Draw lead
Piss wine
Sink teeth
All mine

Stoke fire
Break neck
Suffer through this
Cheat on death

Hug the curve
Lose the time
Tear the map
And shoot the sign

Then make me miss you
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt!!
It don't feel good until it fucking hurts!!

So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem


Come make me miss you...

to my revolver

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